Saturday, October 13, 2007

Evil Things: Vets, Groomers, and You Tube


Here you can see my very fuzzy butt. Isn't it cute? I thought it was just fine the way it was, but no, the peoples, they enjoy tormenting me. They have found so many new ways to torment me this week, I am thinking of going out on strike.

First, I had to go to the vet this week. I have ear infections in both ears. I actually like going to the vet, because they're really nice to me, and they tell me how pretty I am and how friendly I am, and I usually get some treats as rewards just for being me! But now the peoples, they are washing out my ears and then sticking this gooey stuff into them. I don't like it one bit.

AND FURTHERMORE, after informing us of the ear infections, the vet also informed us that I, Carter Stephen Bridge, am "slightly overweight." Apparently I have gained a little over two pounds since June, which I guess is a lot if you're only 30 pounds to begin with. But Bridget has been gaining all kinds of weight this past summer and no one tells her to stop eating treats. I think I look great just the way I am. I'm going to call the folks at Dove and ask them to start a campaign for true dog beauty. I'm sick of the body image police!

Adding further to the woes of my week, I also went to the groomer's this week. They cut my nails and gave me a serious bath and CUT OFF ALL MY BEAUTIFUL CURLY FUR!! I can't believe it. I look like I'm half my real furry size!


Here I am, in my full furry glory, sitting in the car just minutes before I was deprived of all my glorious fur!

And here I am now, with no more fuzz!


My once fabulously furry paws, seen here:




Are now tiny little ones:


In other horrifing news, as if I have not suffered enough indignities, Jake and Bridget recently got a lot of laughs by playing this trick on me where they play a video on Jake's laptop. The video features a cat. This gets me a bit upset, because I begin to believe that there is a cat inside the house. I can hear it meowing! Even when the video was over, I was sure there was a cat somewhere inside or underneath that laptop. They found it so funny, they made their own video of it. I think You Tube is evil. But apparently, Jake is planning to post a video of my performance sometime soon. Stay tuned. Or tell them to stop tormenting me! Please!

Well, even with my haircut, I sure do like riding in the car. And my new fashion accessory is pretty cool too. Check me out:

1 comment:

E said...

Carter, all those indignities you are made to suffer...makes you even more deserving of all the daily free-time to play and do whatever you want, all the free food and warm housing you get, all the pettings, attention and affection. But still you must keep your peoples in check. Have you chewed on anything valuable recently?

So, I didn't know you had a middle name and that it is Stephen. Where did you get from? Is it a family name? What else about you do you think your adoring public should know? For that matter, what is the biography of Carter Stephen Bridge? I know from your peoples how they got you and what you were doing right before you were taken in. But what about the younger Carter? What kind of dog was he? Did he run with wolves? Did he pull a sled in Alaska? What adventurous stories lurk in young Carter's past. I know your public would love to hear those.