Wednesday, December 24, 2008

I'm on Vacation!

I thought I should try to get in one more post before the end of the year. Here I am, in my dog carseat on the way to my vacation. Some people claim this is actually that baby's carseat, but I'm pretty sure it's mine. Just like I'm pretty sure that the soft fuzzy teddy bear is mine.

Jake and Bridget and Lucy have left me to go somewhere, but I am doing just fine. I spent a few days with my girlfriend, Gertie, and now I am having the time of my life at Aunt Paula's Home for Pets. I get to hang with Bus and Marlin, and Paula lets me get on furniture that Bridget and Jake wouldn't let me get on. It's awesome here! I'll be back in my regular home in 2009, but I'm having a great vacation.

Merry Christmas to all, and here's hoping I can blog more frequently in 2009!


Thursday, November 27, 2008


I am a Thankful dog for many reasons. Today, there are a lot of people at my house. There more people we have here, the more chaos there is, and chaos is where I thrive. When there's chaos, no one notices when you steal a toy you're not supposed to have (like Lucy's teddybear). No one sees you skulk into the kitchen to steal food. People totally forget that they shouldn't put food on the coffee table, and I totally score yummy people food of all kinds. It's awesome.

I haven't been able to blog much, so I'll give you the update.

Relations with the house baby continue to be a rocky road.

Here she is, taunting me with a ritz cracker:

But here I am, successfully eating some chex out of her hands. Yum!

And here I am on Halloween. A whole bunch of kids in weird outfits came to our house and got candy. I tried wearing this hat, but no one gave me any candy. Lame!
That's all for now. I smell turkey. YUM!

Sunday, September 7, 2008

I haven't posted in a ridiculously long time. The reason? I give you two words: THAT KID. Seriously, I cannot get a break. I move across the room, and she's after me. I sit down in my bed and she's crawling over. I try to get away, but then she screams. I need a vacation!

The kid, she is mobile now. This is scary. Here she is, getting up in my grill.
She is trying to get to my alligator, but it is MY alligator. Sometimes, I like to chew on her toys and then pretend that I don't know they're her toys. I especially like to grab her teddy bear. Bridget found him in my bed one morning. If that kid's gonna leave her bear lying around in the middle of the living room floor, I think I'm entitled to snuggle with him when I want to!
While I am really seriously disappointed that the kid is chasing me, there is an upside to her current behavior: food. I've discovered a whole new world of snacks that I had never had before: Cheerios! Fig Newtons! Graham Crackers! I get so much stuff outta this kid. I can walk right up to her Exersaucer and take stuff off the tray! It's great. And there's all kinds of stuff left behind after she's been in the high chair.
So the food is good. And usually, Jake and Bridget are really good about giving me treats when the kid is around. I'll stick around if they're offering treats. I like treats. But usually, I just want to go off to one of my beds and be by myself. The kid tries to follow me, but I try to hide. Otherwise, she tries to climb on me and bonk her head into me, and stick her fingers in my nose. That kids needs to learn some manners!
So other than that, this summer has been pretty good. I've been hanging out in the garden a lot.

There's a lot of grass out there that I can munch. Bridget put up this silly little wire fence to keep me out of there, but it totally didn't work, and now it just trips her up when she tries to go pick tomatoes.

I spent some time visiting my friends this summer, including of course, Aunt Paula (and Bus and Marlin) and also Tony & Stacy and the girls. My good dog buddy Gertie lives at that house, and I had a good time hanging out with her.

I'm a good dog. I'm patient with Lucy. I protect everyone here from the postman and anyone else who comes to the door. I have recently begun eating the bees that come to buzz in the hostas in the front yard. It's a pretty good life. But if anyone would like to come take this kid off my hands, I'd really appreciate it.

I'll try to blog more soon. Thanks for reading!


Monday, May 5, 2008

Long time, no post

I've been a rather busy dog for the past few months, so sorry about the lack of posting. I spent a few days with my most awesomest Auntie Paula, with her dogs, Bus and Marlin. We had a blast. There are also these small creatures in her house that she hides in a back room. I am obsessed with them, but Paula will not let me play with them or eat them or even see them. But I know they are there. They are called Thurman and Merman, and, well, I want to have them for lunch sometime. I mean meet them, meet them for lunch. All friendly like. Really.

Back here at my regular home, I've become increasingly plagued by the various kitties who live in my neighborhood. There are two grey kittens who live across the street, and I swear, they come outside and taunt me. They sun themselves RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME from the other side of the fence. They frolic and play. They are making me crazy. SO crazy, that recently, I have taken to going into the garden and eating dirt. Bridget really really really hates this and tries to stop me, so I like to run away, but running through the garden, making dog prints and a general mess. She is totally fed up with me. It's awesome.

So recently, I sat down with the newest member of our household to conduct a dog-to-baby interview. Here we are in the garden, getting to know each other:

I thought I would share my findings so far, in the interest of informing other dogs of what these creatures are really like. It turns out, they're not all bad. They are A LOT bad, but sometimes, they are not entirely bad. Here we go:

Carter: I see you have a lot of cool, squeaky, chewy toys. Can I borrow some of them?
Lucy: Sure!
Carter: Thanks! Nom!
Carter: So, uh, I think you're spoiled.
Lucy: Spoiled? What's that?
Carter: The humans, they carry you around everywhere. I mean EVERYWHERE. Like, you don't have to walk at all.
Lucy: Yeah, but they go wherever THEY want to go. I don't get to decide. But someday, I will.
Carter: You get to go UPSTAIRS. I NEVER EVER EVER get to go upstairs. And when I try, I get yelled at. What is upstairs? Is it like filled with chew toys? Is there beef jerky everywhere? You MUST tell me!
Lucy: No way, dude, you DON'T want to go up there. I have to SLEEP when I go up there! They put me in a CAGE in a DARK ROOM. It is LAME upstairs.
Carter: I dunno, the sleeping part doesn't sound so bad. But a cage? A cage you say? Really?
Lucy: It's a cage. I don't care if they call it a "crib." The cribs on MTV don't look like that. It's a baby cage.
Carter: Still, you're so lucky! They feed you from a bottle! And they do that ALL THE TIME! I only get fed twice a day! You get fed, like ten times a day and even IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT! I know! I hear you scream, and then they give you a bottle! When I bark, I don't even get a treat!
Lucy: OK, tell ya what. When I get myself mobile, my first order of business will be to get you more food. Promise.
Carter: Really? OK. That sounds good. I don't want bottles though. I want, like steak.
Lucy: What's steak?
Carter: Harumph. We'll work on it. But to get back to the questions, what's with all the screaming? I mean, you're really loud. REALLY REALLY LOUD. And yet, so small. You're totally smaller than me. But so much louder. What's up with that?
Lucy: Why wouldn't I be loud? I mean, what's the point of being quiet?
Carter: I disapprove of such behavior, and I ask you, I beseech you, please stop with all the screaming.
Lucy: I'll take it under advisement. No promises.
Carter: Well, I think we've covered more than enough for one interview session. I think I need to take a nap. I hope we can continue to have a productive dialogue in the interest of improved living conditions for both babies and dogs in this household. Agreed?
Lucy: Agreed.

Monday, February 18, 2008

I'm a Patient Dog

Things are OK here in my world. Lately I've been doing a lot of raiding -- whether of the kitchen or of our guests' bags. As you can see in the photo above, I've hoarded not only my toys in my bed, but also an empty breadcrumb container that I grabbed from the trash (yes, it was empty when I got it, no, my people did not have the pleasure of seeing me get my head stuck in it, although they dearly wish they had). I've been chewing at various plastic bags that I think once held food, too. I've also been trying to get as much time on the couch as possible. I'm allowed to sit there when there are human sitting there and they invite me up. But it's also very easy for me to invite myself up when no one is around. I do this all the time. Jake and Bridget are always telling me to scoot. I don't mind, but I don't really understand their policy of couch protectionism. Sigh.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Super-Dog Sunday!

Today Jake and Bridget had some people over to watch some football game, and here's what I found out: When there are other people here, it is WAY easy for me to snag food. I got to eat some cornbread off Jake's plate, and later on, I ate ICE CREAM!! It was awesome. It was my first major sporting event, and I've decided that football is awesome. The chips, the chili, the not well-guarded treats! Woo hoo!
In case you're wondering, I'm rooting for the underdog. It's just my nature.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Year of the Dog

So I've been living here with Jake and Bridget for over a year now! They tell me that it was my arrival anniversary on January 24th! It has been an eventful year. Sorry I haven't been able to post lately, but it seems every time I sit down to write, Lucy needs something, so, as a helpful dog, I can't just blog all the time. Sigh.

Yesterday I went to the vet and got a lot of shots, but I was a good good dog. Also, I got a totally clean bill of health, and they rated my body a 5 out of 5!! Seriously!!! I am totally buff. Also, the vet estimates that I am only about 5 years old, not 9 like Jake and Bridget thought. So we're all very excited to realize that I'm such a young, hip dog.

Things are good here in Lowell.